Meet The Young Ref: Jeremi Barnes on Officiating, Social Media, and Making a Difference
- Sara ViseHolman
- 6d
- 5 min read
You may know him as the "TikTok Ref" or "TheYoungRef," but Jeremi Barnes is a phenomenon on the field and in his personal life. Jeremi has gone from a probation officer intern, to selling life insurance, to doing whatever needs to be done. He is best known for his refereeing account, @TheYoungRef, on social media. A couple of years ago, he started posting online, and a video of him being mic'd up went viral. Everything took off from that point on.
Jeremi has done sports his entire life. He went to college for track and field, doing the triple jump and long jump. Though he unfortunately had to medically retire at the University of Central Missouri (UCM), he has been networking and living his best life ever since.
You set a school record in the triple jump just two months after learning the event. How did your own background as an elite athlete shape how you view and interact with the players you officiate?
Jeremi realizes that staying in shape has helped him a lot. He was an All-American athlete at Avila University, set a high school record, and competed at UCM. Being an athlete has sharpened his competitive edge and helped him connect with players. There is a lot of running and jogging involved, and the kids respect him a little more for keeping up.
The main reason he started posting in the first place is that a lot of people like to talk about officials, but it’s easy to criticize until you are in their shoes. The athletic side of things has helped him stay out there on the field, gain respect, and have fun at the same time.
You’ve been officiating local high school and youth sports in the Kansas City area for over 13 years. What did those very first games look like before you built your online community?
Jeremi says those very first games were intimidating, but he’s glad he never stopped. In life, once you get past those hard moments, it’s smooth sailing. Early on, he was super nervous, didn't know what he was doing, had people yelling at him, and didn't want to be there...but then he saw the paychecks.
At a young age, that money made a huge impact. He could pay for his own things and do what he wanted to do. That financial aspect helped him stick with it initially, but he eventually grew to love the community and the brotherhood.
Even to this day, he sometimes gets nervous or doesn't want to head out to a game, but once he gets into the action, all of that goes away. He falls in love with it all over again because it gives a sense of fulfillment and a way to give back.
What was the moment that made you decide to transition from just officiating to contributing to the larger officiating community by filming and sharing your journey online?
It took Jeremi a couple of years to make the transition. Prior to two years ago, his officiating crews were very inconsistent because people kept retiring or moving on. Normally, an official stays with the same crew every Friday night, but he was constantly switching as crews broke up. It got to the point where, after another retirement, he looked to the future and felt like he would be the last one standing.
Looking around, he noticed the officials he grew up with were retiring, and he didn't see many younger people stepping up. Normally, people get recruited by friends or family, but they rarely stick around for more than a year. (Roughly 80% of new referees quit within their first three years.)
Jeremi realized there had to be a way to reach a bigger crowd. Being a people person, he wanted to show that officials are real human beings who have fun on the field and are actually there to help the players. He wanted to reveal what really happens on the field versus what people assume.
He decided to try mic-ing himself up. The first video he posted, where it looks like he’s tackling a player, went viral, and it was smooth sailing from there. He found a good balance between posting serious content and showing his personality, proving that officiating is a respected profession while earning respect for what he does on social media.
What do you think your viral platform does to make a "thankless job" suddenly look attractive to people looking to start refereeing?
He makes it look fun because it is fun. When he gets out there, he feels there is no environment quite like a Friday night football game.
In the future, he wants to showcase even more by releasing full YouTube videos documenting his entire day as a Friday night referee. He wants to highlight the positivity, the fun interactions, and the good times on the field.
What is the single biggest thing about a referee's mental process that coaches, players, and parents completely misunderstand?
When referees are out on the field, the environment and the flow of the game matter, there are so many factors at play that people don't realize. When you hear people yelling from the stands, it’s coming from a biased perspective.
Referees are trying to create a safe and fun environment. At the end of the day, every referee just wants respect. Problems arise when people try to belittle them or make them look bad, when all they really want is mutual respect.
When you feel completely overwhelmed, how do you protect your peace and prevent burnout?
Having been through a lot on his own, he knows how to navigate tough times. He turns off his phone, spends time with his wife, and goes to the gym, which he considers his safe space.
He also likes hanging out with friends. Jeremi flourishes in crowds and prefers being surrounded by a community where he can talk to people and help them through their problems. Engaging with people in real life helps him get away from the everyday stress of life and social media.
At the end of the day, you've said you want to be remembered for your impact rather than your follower count. What is the ultimate permanent legacy you want to leave behind?
He and his wife started a clothing brand, and the core message he wants to leave behind is simple: treat people how you want to be treated, be the difference, and be the change you want to see in the world. Life is already hard, be nice to people, because you never know what someone is going through.
He also wants to inspire younger people to get into refereeing. Even if he doesn't referee year-round in the future, he always wants to promote it on Friday nights. But being the difference goes beyond refereeing- it’s about bringing positivity wherever you see fit in life.  The legacy he wants to leave is being a good person who made a positive change.
Final Thoughts & Acknowledgments
Jeremi wants to give a major shoutout to his wife. Without her, he wouldn't be the man he is today. They have been together for eight years and married for two, growing through a lot together, she is at every single game recording for him.
He also credits his parents, noting that if it wasn't for his dad and brother, he would have never gotten into refereeing in the first place. Lastly, he gives thanks to his agency, his friends, and everyone surrounding him. Without their support, he wouldn't be who he is. His ultimate message to everyone is simply to go out and make your own positive change in the world.
Connect with Jeremi Barnes:
Facebook, YouTube, TikTok:Â @TheYoungRef
Instagram, Snapchat, & X:Â @Jeremi Barnes
