Working the Crew with Family: Leonard Longhorn on Officiating Alongside His Wife and Kids
Most officials never get the chance to share the field with their family. Leonard Longhorn has worked games alongside his wife and three of his kids, and he'll tell you it's one of the best parts of the job.
Leonard Longhorn is the Manager of Officiating Affairs for the New Mexico Activities Association (NMAA). He is also registered to officiate six sports: football, baseball, basketball, softball, volleyball, and powerlifting. At home, he and his wife have a blended family of five kids, and dinner conversations have a way of turning into rules clinics.
We recently spoke with Leonard about how he got started, how he approaches each game, what it's like to officiate with family.
How did you get started in officiating, and what made you stick with it?
I started officiating when I moved to New Mexico. At the time I was an assistant football coach and the head coach for the junior high boys basketball team, so I didn't have much going on in the spring. Baseball was a big deal in the area, and the head baseball coach was on our coaching staff, so I asked him who the assigner was. I figured I could make some extra money, and the kids were just getting into travel ball, so it would help them out on the weekends.
Honestly, I wasn't very good my first three or four years. I was probably the umpire the parents yelled at.
I was learning more by messing up than from anybody telling me anything.
I got into football a little later, after I got out of coaching. A friend of mine was an official, and he asked if I'd ever thought about officiating football. I went to a meeting and worked a junior high game, and that first whistle was amazing, and that’s when I fell in love with it.
You're a registered official in six different sports. How does your mindset change from one to the next?
My mindset might be different than everybody else's. I want to provide the best customer service I can to the athletes, coaches, and athletic directors at both schools. I might not be the rules guy in volleyball. I played basketball, but I'm not the rules guy there either. What I will do is study enough to communicate with the players and coaches and manage the game, so they can have the best game possible.
So to better answer the question, my mindset doesn’t necessarily change from one sport to another. I just hold more or less knowledge from sport to sport, but I approach them with the same mentality: provide the best “customer service” to everyone involved in the game.
Did you and your wife meet through officiating, and what was it like working your first game together?
We did meet through officiating. I was working a summer league college baseball game in town, and she was there watching. I always tell everybody we met at a casino, though.
The first time we worked together was funny. We were working a football game. She works the line of scrimmage, and I usually work as an umpire or referee, but that night I was on the opposite sideline running the chains. I enjoy working on the sidelines, but I'm not great at it, because I provide too much customer service. I'm always talking to coaches and kids, and there were a couple of times it was third down and the down marker still said second, because I was too busy talking. Oops.
When we went over to talk to the coaches before the game, I wanted to ease some tension. I told them, "This is my wife. It's probably the only time she'll listen to me, because everywhere else she doesn't listen to me at all.” One coach had an issue on her sideline, and I said, "Hey, Coach, be careful. She's a lot meaner than I am. She might be little, but she's feisty."
Was officiating football your idea or hers?
Everybody assumes I pushed her into it. It was the opposite. When she first started, I told her not to work high school football, because the football coaches are tough. So she took the challenge, which emphasizes my point about how she doesn't listen to me. She told me later that when she started, all she really wanted was to work on my crew.
How did your kids get involved in officiating?
I never really pushed it on my kids, because you see the abuse officials go through, whether it's from fans or coaches. But I always brought them along to my tournaments, games, and fall and spring scrimmages, so they got to see all the work that goes into it. At the park, they spent more time arguing over rules, like batter interference, obstruction, or running out of the baseline, than actually playing. So I definitely saw it coming.
Eventually they came to me, since I was assigning summer ball, and said, "Hey, Dad, can I work some baseball and make some money?" I didn't have to make them do it. They were willing to learn and they asked questions. Our dinners became rules clinics, with the salt, pepper, ketchup, and mustard on the table as players, and napkins for bases.
We have five kids through our blended family, and four of the five were catchers, so they always had an umpire right behind them. I think they became better players because they understood the other side of the game. Working games at a young age also taught them to manage adults. Now that they've graduated and are out in the real world, they have problem-solving and customer service skills, and they know how to talk to adults. It was kind of a blessing in disguise.
What was it like officiating with your kids for the first time?
Each kid was a little different, but it was great. Honestly, I couldn't tell you who won the game or who was even playing, because I kept thinking, "That's my kid out there." I never thought it would happen. I figured they'd go off and play something else, but as soon as their season was done, they were ready to go umpire.
Whether it was a 10U game or a JV game, it's always a blast to see the work you put in and the work they put in. They're students of the game, too. They see how much I study rules, watch film, take tests, and mentor other people, and they do the same thing. As soon as their game is over, they're on their iPads watching the recording.
My son lives in Oklahoma and works football now, and after his games he calls me and says, "Dad, I had this play. Did I do this right?" It keeps us connected, and it builds a stronger bond, because we're not just talking about what we're going to eat for dinner. We have this sport that brings us closer together and lets us spend more time together.
You also get to celebrate the milestones. His first varsity high school game came earlier this month, and as soon as he got the assignment, he called to tell me. When your kids get a state championship assignment, you're the first person they call. You get to relive these moments through them.
What have your kids picked up from watching you and your wife officiate?
My plate stance is hands on my knees with a certain body turn, and my sons have the exact same stance behind the plate. I didn't even notice it until my wife made a collage of all of us calling a strike. We all had the same point, and we all looked the same. It's almost muscle memory for them at this point. When I worked with my daughter, I looked out there and thought, "That's a younger, female version of me."
It has been nice to see them pick up the small things, like mechanics, by just watching us.
When family is on your crew, how do you handle feedback and missed calls?
It's really the same as with anybody else. When I first started, the older guys ripped on me and tore down my confidence, so I try to make it fun. Unless a partner totally blows a call, I'm not going to overturn it. I'm going to have your back.
A lot of times, if my kids know they missed one, they'll come to me and say, "Yeah, Dad, I messed that one up." I ask, "OK, what are you going to do?" My daughter will say, "Alright, we're going to overturn it, go talk to Coach, tell him what happened, tell the other coach, give them both an explanation, and get back to the game." That's how I treat everybody. Here's the problem, what's our solution, and what's best for the game and for these kids?
There is a little something extra between us, though. They know my personality outside the game, so we'll have goofy hand signals for rotations, and between innings they'll ask for a Jolly Rancher. Strawberry or cherry, never grape. They know they can have fun, but when it's time to work, it's time to work.
How do you mentor new officials?
I give them free rein, and I tell them it's okay to mess up. We're not going to get every call right, and if something goes wrong we'll fix it together as a crew. I'll go to the coach and explain what my partner saw. That respect with coaches comes from years of building those relationships. During timeouts, I'll crack a joke and get them to laugh and relax, because if you're not as uptight, you'll have a better game. I don't even do a formal rules review in my pregame. We talk through situations, and if something comes up, we figure out how we'll handle it.
Confidence is a big part of it. When I was newer, I'd make a call and wonder if I had it right. Later, when I had newer officials on my crew, I'd walk by after a foul and tell them, "Hey, man, that was a good whistle." Players and coaches hear that too, and they think, "Leonard said that was a good whistle, so that clearly was a good call." Officials also have an unwritten sign language, just a slight nod to a partner that says “good call”. My kids and my wife do the same thing, and it's neat to watch.
Perception is reality. If you don't look confident in your call, everybody sees it, and on your next foul or flag they're going to ask, "Are you sure?" You have to remove that doubt. Right or wrong, you have to sell it.
What qualities do you look for in someone on your crew?
First and foremost, being a good person. If you're honest and have good character, that goes a long way. You can be a great play caller and a rules expert, but if you're not fun to be with in the locker room or during the pregame, it takes the enjoyment out of the game.
If you're a good person and fun to be around for those two or three hours, I'd have you on my crew any day. I don't care if you miss a charge.
My kids have seen the opposite, too. They've worked with crew chiefs who were all about rules and never talked between innings or between sets, and it wasn't fun. That's the kind of experience that keeps new officials from coming back.
What did you wish you had as a first-year official, and how are you changing that for new officials?
For baseball and softball, I would go out of my own pocket to rent time in the batting cage. I'd tell a high school kid, "I'll give you a $20 Chick-fil-A gift card if you come catch for an hour," and we'd rotate umpires in and just work on plate mechanics. Having hands-on training with someone who has experience makes a huge difference. I have officials who are two or three years in who look solid, with crisp mechanics, because we practice in the mirror and line up and call strikes.
My first three years, I probably had five different strike calls, because I didn't have anyone showing me how it was supposed to look. I'd see an MLB game and try to mimic something, then see another guy the next week that I liked better. The rule book gives one way to call a strike in softball, but nobody really drops the hammer in baseball. Add your own flair, but be consistent.
I always kept a mental note of what I wished I'd had when I started. Now that I'm in a position to make it happen, I do my best.
What would you say to a young person thinking about picking up a whistle for the first time?
Do it. Take that step forward. Find a good mentor, someone older who can give you advice and hold you accountable, because whatever you put in is what you get out of it. If you're in the rule book constantly, watching film, and putting in the time and effort, you'll get a lot out of it.
It's also a lot of fun. Some of my best friends are officials. We come from different backgrounds and different parts of the country, but we talk constantly. A buddy from my old FCS crew sent me a clip of a play, and we talked it through and talked about rules. You don't get that anywhere else. If you bombed a business call, your old buddy isn't going to call you to talk about it. In officiating, when you mess up, you're not afraid to tell somebody and ask how you could fix it.
Officiating brings a lot to your life beyond professionalism, the travel, and the games. You build a network that lasts a lifetime. Everybody's story is different. There's no one set path, and there are a lot of ups and downs, but there are a lot of people who like to share their journeys. Hopefully we can get more families into officiating and make it a whole-family event on the weekend to work a tournament.
Final Thoughts
Leonard's story is a reminder that officiating is about more than rules and mechanics. It's about people: partners who have your back, mentors who show you the way, and a game that gives families another reason to spend time together. His approach, treating the game as customer service for the players, fans, and coaches, and making it fun for the crew, is one any official can borrow, whether they work with family or not.
That same spirit of mentorship and hands-on development is what RefReps hopes to support as more schools and associations work to recruit and retain officials.
We would like to thank Leonard Longhorn for taking the time to share his experiences with the RefReps community.
If you’d like to contact Leonard about officiating, you can reach him at leonard@nmact.org.
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